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01/09/2004 MORTARS, BARBEQUED KNICKERS AND A MEDAL Regular readers will know that the ACI Racing Team has been on a mission to spot a moose during the FIA 2004 Championship tour. Well, after driving across Finland, Sweden and Norway we saw nothing and then, suddenly, Germany produced the goods. A whole herd had broken through the security fencing at Hockenheim and stood looking at the track. Perhaps they were discussing the lack of grip? 
We were able to fly in to Frankfurt Main airport this season which left an easy and short drive to Hockenheim. Whilst waiting for our hire car, we noticed some baggage trolleys apparently moving alone. It turns out they were being pushed by a remotely-controlled electric cart. This would be a good device for moving dragsters around. The driver could sit in the cockpit and have the racecar pushed to the startline and then pick up another pusher and return to the pit. It would sure save an awful lot of sweat and musclepower from the teams. We arrived at our pit and standing there was our previous crew chief Andy Blisset. Back from his globetrotting, Andy had traveled over with the truck and was to spend the weekend with the ACI Racing team. Dave was disturbed whilst chatting to Andy and this gave rise to the first of the quotes of the weekend “I was quite happy sitting on the step talking bollocks”. This is of course something some of us have suspected for some time but it’s nice to hear it confirmed by the man himself! Friday dawned and with it the first day of qualifying. Readers of our Gardermoen race report will be aware of an issue concerning tyres. 2 more were delivered Friday morning and added to the piles of wheels and tyres around our pit. It really did look like a Quickfit depot. The latest tyres were fitted and after inflation were found to differ too much in circumference. One was changed and finally we had a matched pair. The tyres were going to have to be good as the Hockenheim strip has a reputation for lacking the levels of grip normally available at the other FIA championship race events. Someone had calculated that if we qualified no 1 for this event we would secure enough points to win the championship. The set-up for the first run was intended to be very mild but for Dave to leave the line with no throttle and then progress for much of the quarter at half-throttle was a surprise. Peter Schofer was smoking his tyres but seemed to drive through it. We clocked 6.25 but Peter ran 6.11. In the second run we improved and recorded a 6.07 but Peter Schofer and Rob Turner also improved and both recorded high 5’s. We broke a valve spring and a lash cap in that run but otherwise everything was fine. End of day 1 and we were bottom qualifier. Never mind, it was time to eat. It was whilst eating the evening meal that we noticed something impacting around our pit every few minutes. We suspected someone was firing something at us. The following morning the mortar shells were found to be potatoes which we thought were being fired from behind a large grandstand. The signs of impact were easy to see both on the road and the side of our truck. Our first reaction was to consider grabbing some torque wrenches and then to search out our assailants but commonsense quickly took over and words were had with the organizers. The shelling stopped late morning and the rumour was that the Polizei were involved, so the artillery crew had probably had its chips! Back to Friday evening and following our barbequed meal, a torrential downpour occurred. Water had accumulated everywhere, especially on the grass where Suzy and Harry had their tent. The sleeping area was fine but a suitcase was sitting in several inches of water. 10:30 on a damp and chilly night and no dry underwear or footwear for the morning. Once again the ACI Racing team sprang into action. Two washing lines were strung up beneath the gazebo and the gas barbeque re-lit and turned to full throttle. Various items of ladies and gents undergarments were then slowly barbequed. My favourite was a pair of Calvin Klein shorts nicely dried and served in a salsa verde sauce. Day 2 of qualifying and despite the spud bombs we had a car to prepare. Whilst checking out some wiring, an ignition switch was broken and this led to some very rapid repairs which were only just completed in time. Run 3 and we clocked a 5.82 @ 249mph. This put us in second spot behind Peter Schofer. A blower panel had burst but no other problems. So, one more run to get that elusive no 1 qualifier spot and with it the European Championship. We had noticed that the car had become increasingly difficult to start and suspected an ignition fault. The pro-mag system was changed, then the coil and finally some other ignition components. The cause was eventually found but only a few minutes before we were due to run. Tension was running higher than normal when we fired up for the last qualifier. Even now Dave was leaving the line very carefully and tyre smoke did appear during the run. We were clearly on the edge of losing grip but the clocks showed a 5.75. We had done it or so we thought. We were no 1 qualifier for about 2 minutes by which time Rob Turner had blown us clean out of the water with a high ’60. How drag racing can play cruel games with racers. We only needed a no 1 qualifier spot to win the championship and now we had to race our closest rival in the first round. If we win we take it all but if Schofer Racing wins then the championship goes to Santa Pod. End of day 2 and time to discuss what to do for racing on Sunday. During these discussions someone made a comment about clutching at straws to which Dave replied with his second quote of the weekend “we’re clutching at so many straws we have enough to build a f*****g raft”. Sunday morning and its time for the talking to stop. We’ve been here before of course. Who can forget that final run at The Finals at the Pod last year? This time was different, Peter Schofer has to win his home event. Both cars fire up and Dave pulls in to stage without his customary blip of the throttle. The lights run and Dave pulls a holeshot. Both cars rapidly disappear into the horizon and there is the light. A win for Dave and ACI Racing. European Champion for the second year running. Typical of the Schofer team, and despite their disappointment, they are the first to congratulate us. There was little time to enjoy the win as we still had a final against Rob Turner. A major effort was required to get the car to the weigh station as some street-racers were packing up to go home and blocked the route. A normal turnaround and it’s back to the startline. Dave stages deep, which is unusual and, even more unusual, is slow to get the revs up. So slow in fact that the revs are still rising whilst Rob Turner heads off into the distance. Turner Racing takes a well-deserved win. No complaints from us, they had consistently out-gunned both the Schofers and ourselves all weekend. So, where do we go from here? To Santa Pod that’s where and in a couple of weeks time we intend to enjoy The Finals and seek another win. See you there.
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